Kimberly Mathews
Contact Info
- 707 Birdie Circle Sparta, WI 54656
- 608-487-4879
- kimberlyamathews@gmail.com
- Kimberly Matthews
I have a question on how to change something in my life. I will need to explain the situation: My husband has been struggling with retirement. He defined himself by his job and doing that job well, and now that is gone.
For the last year he has been looking for something that he can do to define himself – particularly during the winter months when outdoor activities are more difficult. He became a “grill master”.
There is a lot of good and bad to this! The good part is that he now cooks – a lot – and enjoys it and I have a lot less to do when I come home from work! The bad thing is that we do not just “eat”. Our meals, particularly our evening meal, has become an “event” and we discuss the preparation, cooking, how the food tastes, is done, what a great job he did, etc. We have wonderful meals and I cannot discount that, but we get so focused on eating, it has become our “activity” and main topic of conversation.
I need to lose weight and focusing so much attention on cooking and eating seems to defeat the weight loss goal. I have tried to steer him to cooking healthy food and that has worked to a certain extent but we eat very well every night. I try to limit my portions, eat more of the vegetables, drink water before I eat so that I feel fuller, etc. I don’t want to crush his newfound talent but I can’t keep eating this way. Help!
You are doing the main things right! In Ephesians 5:22-33 it tells wives to respect their husbands and husbands to love their wives. Your situation portrays this beautifully, so congratulations! Concentrating on the vegetables, small portions and the water too, is very good. So keep those things up! Other things you can try;
1. Chew your food thoroughly savor the flavor of each bite. This will slow down your eating and you will eat less before you feel full. (It takes 20 minutes for our stomachs’ to tell our brains it is full, we can pack in a lot of calories in 20 minutes.)
2. Increase the amount of exercise you get. Try adding a morning or regular lunch workout to your routine.
3. Do not eat any food three hours prior to going to bed.
4. Explain to your husband how important it is to you to lose weight.
5. Ask him to plan nightly activities the two of you can do together before or after dinner. See if he can make them mostly physical activities. I suggest, cross country skiing, moon lit snow shoe walks, couples stretching. He may really enjoy this new challenge.
Remember, losing or gaining weight is mostly a math equation. Calories in- calories out=weight gain or loss. Do what you can, to adjust your day to accommodate your evening meal.
1 Corinthians9:17 “For if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward; but if against my will a dispensation of the gospel is committed unto me.”
I am getting ready to make my New Year’s resolutions. I never keep them. Should I even bother?
Absolutely!! If you feel the need to make a resolution then you must be feeling a need to change something in your life. The New Year is a great time to shed the old and put on the new. The truth is, it is always a good time to make positive changes in your life.
New Year’s resolutions often fail because we fail. None of us are perfect and we are usually not able to keep our resolutions perfectly so we give up. This year decide to keep working toward your goal no matter how many times you fail. We all fail. It is the” getting back up again” that builds our character, endurance and success. I have needed to keep many a resolution and failed. Once I decided to keep on keeping on I finally was able to succeed. Make your New Year’s resolution stick this year, give up the all or nothing mentality. Make a concerted effort toward your goal daily. Ask God for His strength and guidance. Envision yourself achieving your goal. Establish an accountability system. Create a reward system. If you want to succeed this year have a plan. Most importantly plan on endurance, regardless of how many times you may fail.
Hebrews 10:36 “For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.”
Hebrews 12:1-2a “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight , and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”
I pray that you will have a happy, blessed and successful New Year!
Do you have any Holiday tips?
Absolutely!! Christmas is a wonderful time of year. We are celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior. We are celebrating that we can have eternal life through Him. We are celebrating that we are forgiven for every sin in our past, present and future through our belief in Jesus as our Savior. We are celebrating a true miracle!!! My main Holiday tip is remembering the reason you are celebrating.
Other things you can do to stay fit during this season;
1. Focus on His love. He did not invent, shopping and over the top, rest in His peace.
2. Enjoy all you are doing.
3. Love those you are with. Do not be so focused on getting things done that you ignore the people in front of you. Always practice random acts of kindness.
4. Enjoy the holiday foods. Eat the items that you only get this time of year. Don’t over indulge. Simply savor the entire flavor. Practice healthy eating too.
5. Move more. Most likely you will be consuming extra calories so plan on moving more. Take the stairs, take a lap around the mall, and walk around for five minutes on the hour, park in the farthest away parking space! Intentionally decide to move more.
6. Spend within your means. Over spending is not of God. You are to only give what you have. Do you think anyone you are buying for wants you to go in debt for their present?
7. Build in margin to your day. Stress accompanies this time of year for many reasons. One reason is we take on too much. Less is more. Enjoy your moments.
These are a few things you can do to keep yourself focused on the reason for the season.
Luke 2:11 “For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”
I have holiday stress. It is not that I have been going to parties or making cookies. I just have not been focused on starting my new life style. I want to, but not enough to do it. Should I just wait until January first and get the New Years incentive?
Since you are feeling holiday stress, try to let it go. The birth of Jesus is the reason for the season. Happiness does not come from having things perfect. Do what you can comfortably. Focus on His love and spread that this Christmas.
You have a desire to have a healthier lifestyle now, do not put it off. I believe the ultimate in a healthy lifestyle includes holiness, healthiness and happiness. If you are struggling with the exercise and diet angle, start with His peace. One of the ways I do this is by reading His word daily. In addition to holiness you can work on being happier. Intentionally do at least one fun thing every day. This can be as simple as letting yourself day dream. Happiness comes from within; it is largely determined by your attitude. You can decide to enjoy what you have. Focusing on your holiness and happiness will help you be healthier. To increase your fitness level and improve your diet, start simple. Take the steps you will do. Baby steps are OK. The main goal is to have a holy, healthy, happy life. Do a little something every day, and eventually you will be living a new lifestyle. Do not put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
1 Timothy 4:8 “For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.”
At the Rock Prairie Women’s retreat we all chose a fitness goal for our body. I am having surgery next week. I really can’t come up with an exercise goal. I will get started on something after my surgery. There is really not much I can do now, right?
You are 100% correct after surgery you cannot immediately start an exercise program. Most of the time your Doctor will have you wait six to eight weeks. Your physical limitations need to be determined by you consulting with your Doc.
There are however many things you can do to help your body in health and in recovery aside from exercise.
1. Getting enough good quality sleep is a great starting point.
2. Resting in His peace, regardless of your circumstances is also an essential element of good health. (“Casting all your care upon Him, because He cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7)
3. Enjoying fun recreation, even in your hospital bed you can laugh, listen to music, or read make sure you do one fun thing for yourself every day.
4. Eating a well balanced, nutritious, natural, calorie appropriate diet is a fantastic way to aid in your recovery.
5. Practicing proper hygiene even if you are tired and don’t care, will help you avoid possible infection and give you a daily lift. (I consider this step not only bathing and brushing teeth but getting dressed in something that makes you feel good and continually brushing off old behaviors that ensnare you)
6. Putting on faith, every moment remember He loves you and has plans for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) Exercise helps the body, but taking care of your physical body is more than just getting regular exercise. I think the most important of all these ways to help your body especially in times of surgery is to trust the Lord with all your heart and mind. Casting your care for He cares for you and remembering how much He loves you! My prayers are with you for a successful surgery and a healthful recovery.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
I work in an environment that promotes gossip and complaining. How do I avoid entering in to it?
Great awareness! Many of us work around gossipers and complainers. It is easy and very tempting to join in. Recognize when you need to get up and away from the downturned conversation. If you cannot leave try to just say something nice. I believe saying good things or keeping your mouth shut is the only way to avoid getting sucked in. Try saying that you are not comfortable ripping the person apart. Try bringing up solution orientated conversations instead of complaining. People like to be a part of a solution. People instinctively know gossiping and complaining is wrong and will appreciate you helping them get out of the negative spiral. Hold your tongue when you have a juicy “tid bit” to add. You will feel better about yourself and empowered to do it again next time the gossip and complaining starts.
Mathew 15:11 ”Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man: but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”
I have already broken my New Year’s resolutions. I want to get back on track and stay there. Do you have any suggestions?
Keep on Keeping on! You said resolutions; many of us take on to many changes at once and get over whelmed. We can do great for a day or two but then old patterns creep in and there we are. Prioritize the things in your life you need to change. An example if you have been short with your children and your husband, over eating and distant from God, pick the priority. This one is easy; God, you and your husband, then your children. (If we are out of balance with God we tend to self destruct.) When you act according to His priorities you will naturally start taking better care of yourself, this is not easy to do, and we live in a compromising society. Remember as you chose your priorities:
Mathew 6:33 “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you”
Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other Gods before Me.”
Mark 10:8 “and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?”
The Bible is a great place to figure out how to live. When you alien your thinking up with His word your actions will follow! None of us can get this perfect. Jesus was and is the only one perfect. The rest of us have to continually accept His forgiveness and keep on keeping on! The more you alien yourself with His ways and act accordingly the easier it will get!
James 4:7” Therefore submit to God, Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”
My 50 day challenge is less than great. I have made some good choices but my bad out numbers the good. Exercise is important; I was doing better a couple weeks ago. I have so much I need to do, and keep myself from doing it.
Do what you can. Try to at least get in sleep and cast your cares. Eat well and drink water, these things do not take extra time and will help you treat your body as His temple.
Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”
I get so upset at this woman at work because she is always cutting me and my other co-workers down. I get so upset that it consumes me and I don’t feel like staying on my program. Do you have a suggestion?
Absolutely. Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. In the Bible it says, how many times must I forgive? 7×70. Forgiveness is a godly way of life. I personally do not have the heart naturally to forgive, I ask that from the Lord. When someone offends me I ask God, “Please Lord, help me forgive that person.” I ask this over and over until I truly feel it in my heart. I also pray for that person that they may know Gods peace and that He too, may forgive them. Sometimes I choke on the words because I don’t want to pray for the person that hurt me. If, I do it anyway, and practice that forgiveness, I find myself developing true compassion for that person and thus being able to look them in the eye and generally care for them. When I can replace my anger with love through the help of the Lord, I am in a healthier, better place.
Lamentations 3:32 NKJ “Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies.”
This woman in my office is driving me crazy! She is constantly complaining and only does a fraction of the work she is supposed to. I get so angry around her. How can I feel peace around her?
Many people in our lives will not meet our expectations. We do not even meet our own expectations. Ever since Eve took the bite of the apple man has fallen short. I find the first step to feeling peace around other people is to have peace with who I am. This peace comes from knowing who I am in Christ. I am someone who messes up. Through Jesus I am forgiven. Through Him I am given the Holy Spirit who is my helper and strength. Even with Jesus and the Holy Spirit I still mess up, yet I continually get back up and try again because I am forgiven and loved.
Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”John 13:34
Just as I am not perfect I try to remember the people around me are not either. I pray for them and continually practice forgiving them. It is tempting to gossip about the people that offend us. When I do this it hurts me. Try to hold your tongue and practice love, kindness compassion and forgiveness. If she complains directly to you, simply tell her you are a solution oriented person and complaining serves no purpose. Ask her if she can produce solutions? This may inspire her and it may not. Let your joy come from within and don’t lose it by the behavior of others.
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