Ex's Family

Ex’s Family

I cannot stand being in the same room as my ex-husbands’ family. I get so uncomfortable. He and I are trying to be better friends and are considering getting back together. I have been invited to Thanksgiving. What do I do?

Only you know that you, your ex-husband and God can figure out the reconciliation.

I believe marriage should last your life time. Yet, I am divorced. If anyone is to reconcile they first have to practice a sincere forgiveness and leave the past in the past. That goes for his family too.

Many of us have messy divorces and we act terribly to the people we once loved. You cannot change what has happened. You can forgive and go on. Jesus died so that we can be forgiven. I believe we are happiest when we practice forgiveness. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Regardless of your pending reconciliation ask the Lord to help you forgive and accept your ex-husband and his family for who they are and chose to love them.

Follow these three golden rules;

LOVE GOD

LOVE YOURSELF

LOVE OTHERS

If you think you can handle yourself in love and forgiveness then go. If you don’t know how to do that yet, pray, read His word do what you can do in love.

Mathew 5:23 “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

 

Everyone is Annoying Me

My husband, children, co-workers… it seems that everyone has been annoying me lately. Why do people have to be so annoying?

People will be the way they are. We cannot control how other people act. We can control how we react.

Once I let go of judging others and started to forgive them I started feeling true peace. Husbands, wives, children, co-workers are always going to do things that can upset you. That is life. If you let other peoples behavior determine your mood you will be like a wave tossed in the Ocean. When I am offended by someone’s actions or words, I confront them directly, if possible and appropriate. I pray for them and for my ability to forgive them. Sometimes it is very hard for me to do this. My flesh would like to gossip and complain. I ask God for the desire to pray, forgive and move on. This works for me. Try it. If someone annoys you, pray for them, forgive them and let it go.

John 20:23 “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” NKJ

Christian Woman

I am a Christian woman and I do not find very many men that I feel a connection to and have the same belief system. I am dating a man that fits this bill to but it is going so slow. I want more. I sometimes want a family relationship so bad it hurts. How do I get through this?

You get through this the same way you get through all things in life. Accept Jesus love for you. Know that He has a plan for you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust that Gods plan will unfold itself in His timing. Concentrate on the good things He has given you. Be thankful.

Being single is not always so easy. God did say “it is not good for man to be alone” Genesis 2:18. Yet, before we can make a good spouse to someone else we have to be OK on our own. If we require someone else to make us happy or complete us we do not control our own joy. Joy comes from within. Grounding in joy starts with accepting Jesus as your savior. When you concentrate on His joy and His love no matter what the circumstances you can have inner peace. Life will dish out circumstances! Paul said,” I have learned to be content in whatever state I am in.”Philippians 4:11. There is a saying,” you are only lonely when you do not like who you are alone with.” When I start to feel loneliness creep in I pray and then I do something to take care of myself. I go far a walk, get a good work out, play with my dogs, ride my bicycle I do anything that can make me focus on how truly good my life is. Whatever you think about expands. If you think about how desperately you want a husband and how lonely you are then you are wasting your present moment. Love the things you have in your life right now. If you have a negative thought or a thought about something you cannot control intentionally change your thought. Call on Him He is with you 24/7. Single is not always easy, but if you can be happy single you will make a better mate in the long run.

1 John4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

Change

Is it common for people trying to make positive changes to not feel supported by those around them? And the odd thing is that they want my support when they are making changes and I think I tend to be negative or skeptical.

Change good or bad is difficult for people in general. Many times our friends are similar to ourselves in many ways. If we are happy with our friends the way they are and then they start an exercise routine, eating healthy and living a better lifestyle we can feel intimidated.

Most of us know we should do these things but lack the strength and courage to change. When our best friends try to change and not be like us anymore we can feel jealous and rejected. Our friends may feel we are judging them for not wanting to change too. Many of us have tried and failed so many times to start a wellness lifestyle that when we tell our friends we are going to try again they do not get too excited for us. It is important to have friends and family that support our healthful lifestyle choices. It makes life easier. Find friends that support you and be a friend that is supportive. This type of Christian fellowship helps our strength.

Acts 20:35 “I have showed you all things, how that so laboring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, “It is more blessed to give then to receive.””

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Anxiety Disorder

My cousin has an anxiety disorder. He does not know the Lord. Please pray for him.

Please any one reading this lift this cousin up in prayer.

Sometimes we can feel helpless in situations. We do not have control. God is always in control. Yet, He gives us free will. I freely did it “my way” for years. I was in bondage to much anxiety. My family lifted me up in prayer, so did my friends. I did not realize how sick I was until God made me whole. I did not think I needed help. My Christian friends and family could see I did. They were unable to reach me, but their prayers did. There is a tremendous power in prayer! They were diligent in their prayers, I am very thankful!

Mathew 7:7 “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

Trying to Change My Thinking

I have been trying to change my thinking but I can’t. What can I do?

One of the most powerful ways I know to change my thinking is to memorize and quote scripture. One of my friends said that she is using, “get ye behind me Satan” when she is tempted. She said, “it is working great!” I know for me, if I get in the word each day I get the extra encouragement I need during my moments of weakness and glory. Try changing your thinking by memorizing scripture and quoting it.

Matthew 6:33 NKJ But, seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.

Jesus Can’t Fix Everything?

I don’t like all your Jesus stuff. Jesus cannot fix everything. He can’t fix sexual harassment.

I appreciate how you are hurting. I apologize if that sounds judgmental, but your statement sounds like something I might have said before I truly knew Him. Once I started walking with Jesus on a daily basis and trusting in Him during the bleakest of bleak I found that He truly does fix everything for me. The problem is He does not always fix things the way I want them fixed. Sometimes this frustrates me to no end! Then I feel hurt and I can question His very existence. This happens when I am concentrating on the present moment and forgetting that He always has things worked out for the big picture.

Philippians 4:19 “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

In my life I have been the victim of sexual harassment, sexual assault and many other terrible things that should never happened to a little girl or young woman. For years I played the victim role and quenched my pain with alcohol, depression and a number of behaviors I am not very proud of. I was raised in the Lutheran Church and I knew Jesus as a child yet I did not know how to trust Him with my pain. I was angry and so lost. My pain, my hurt and my scars were always on the top of my emotions. Then I hit a new low and could not manage my life any more. I confessed my sins. With a truly repentant heart, I asked Jesus into my heart and asked Him to change my life. I felt a new life enter my soul. I am sure that is the Holy Spirit. (John 15:26) I was changed forever. I no longer feel the pain and I do not have the scars. I am washed clean and I do feel beautiful again. If someone today is inappropriate with me I have the strength to rebuke the action and nip it in the bud. I keep up my relationship with Jesus up by continually reading His word, fellowshipping with other Christians, praying and trusting. He always loves me as He always loves you to maintain that relationship just like any other relationship it takes a commitment. Committing to the Lord has truly freed me from the adverse effects of life especially the adverse effects of sexual harassment and assault.

I’m Spiritual not Religious

I am not very religious. I am however spiritual. I am doing OK, but sometimes I feel like something is missing. Why will going to church help me?

Many people in today’s’ culture say this, “I am spiritual, but I am not religious”. First let’s clarify how you become spiritual, through Jesus Christ.

John 16:7 ”nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you, but if I depart, I will send Him to you.”

When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior he sends us the Holy Spirit and through His Holy Spirit we become spiritual. Many of us do not put the two together and get lost in today’s’ spirituality world. We try hard to be politically correct. The truth is that with Jesus as your Savior you become grounded in His love and through His spirit you become love. Having love toward your fellow man is the ultimate in politically correctness and spirituality. This transformation is made possible by faith in Jesus as our risen savior.

Many people also have stopped going to church. I do believe you are saved purely by your faith in Jesus. I also think that it is very difficult to be out there on your own. It is important to fellowship with other Christians. This keeps us strong in His word. I strongly suggest you find a Bible teaching church and go; it will help you not feel so alone. When you share in Christian fellowship it helps you become stronger. This world can be overwhelming and confusing. To help yourself stay grounded in His word I encourage you attend church. It is not about being religious it is about having His spirit inside of you and enjoying Christian fellowship.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Forgiving Ourselves

A woman from the Rock Prairie Women’s retreat commented to me after our retreat, “Thank you for letting me know I need to forgive myself. I have been holding on to a lot of things for a long time.”

Many of us women are very good at holding on to our past mistakes. We repeat them over and over again in our heads. We get so angry at ourselves for something that is long gone or moments ago. No matter what the time frame, we can feel our present moment being consumed with our past. Many of us rehearse a mistake over and over again trying to replay it, as if we could do something about it! I would have or if I could have. We successfully beat ourselves up and deny ourselves self love. This makes it easy for us to self destruct.

God wants us to live in His love and be His righteousness. He sent his only begotten Son to this world to die for us so we can be free. Free to be with Him in Heaven and have eternal life. Free of the guilt and shame of our past, present and future sins here in this life!

Romans 5-:8-9 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.”

Romans 10:9 “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead you will be saved.”

Romans 10:11 “For the Scriptures says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.”

Jesus died to forgive you, do not hold on to un-forgiveness. Be set free! A major part of loving yourself is accepting Jesus’ free gift and BE FORGIVEN! Live in His love, no matter what has gone on, is going on or will go on!

Romans 14:22a “Happy is he who does not condemn Himself”

Beyond Exercise and Diet

A testimonial on your website site said, “you go beyond exercise and diet.” What else is there?

There is so much more to fitness than exercise and diet. Those things are very important. Fitness is taking care of your physical body, treating it as His temple. Fitness is also taking care of your mind, choosing faith not fear. Taking care of your soul is choosing love not anger. In your relationships choose acceptance vs. criticism. In your home, create a safe place vs. a hostile one. In your work choose diligence not slothfulness. In your finances be responsible vs. squandering. In these seven main areas of your life, if you center them around God and His word it will provide you peace and true fitness. I know this because it works for me. I was once only about diet and exercise. I was then fit on the outside but empty on the inside. True fitness is centering your life around Jesus and treating your body as His temple. It works for me.

Hebrews 3:15 “While it is said: Today if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in rebellion.”