Relationships

I get so upset at this woman at work because she is always cutting me and my other co-workers down. I get so upset that it consumes me and I don’t feel like staying on my program. Do you have a suggestion?

Absolutely. Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. In the Bible it says, how many times must I forgive? 7×70. Forgiveness is a godly way of life. I personally do not have the heart naturally to forgive, I ask that from the Lord. When someone offends me I ask God, “Please Lord, help me forgive that person.” I ask this over and over until I truly feel it in my heart. I also pray for that person that they may know Gods peace and that He too, may forgive them. Sometimes I choke on the words because I don’t want to pray for the person that hurt me. If, I do it anyway, and practice that forgiveness, I find myself developing true compassion for that person and thus being able to look them in the eye and generally care for them. When I can replace my anger with love through the help of the Lord, I am in a healthier, better place.

Lamentations 3:32 NKJ “Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies.”

This woman in my office is driving me crazy! She is constantly complaining and only does a fraction of the work she is supposed to. I get so angry around her. How can I feel peace around her?

Many people in our lives will not meet our expectations. We do not even meet our own expectations. Ever since Eve took the bite of the apple man has fallen short. I find the first step to feeling peace around other people is to have peace with who I am. This peace comes from knowing who I am in Christ. I am someone who messes up. Through Jesus I am forgiven. Through Him I am given the Holy Spirit who is my helper and strength. Even with Jesus and the Holy Spirit I still mess up, yet I continually get back up and try again because I am forgiven and loved.

Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”John 13:34

Just as I am not perfect I try to remember the people around me are not either. I pray for them and continually practice forgiving them. It is tempting to gossip about the people that offend us. When I do this it hurts me. Try to hold your tongue and practice love, kindness compassion and forgiveness. If she complains directly to you, simply tell her you are a solution oriented person and complaining serves no purpose. Ask her if she can produce solutions? This may inspire her and it may not. Let your joy come from within and don’t lose it by the behavior of others.

There is a woman that I work with that uses her sexuality and lies to get a head. Recently I was the target of her lies and the boss promoted her over me. It does not seem fair! I am so angry I don’t want to go to work. I need the job. How do I deal with this situation?

Pray. When someone is offending you pray for them. I think this is very difficult at first. We are called as Christians to love our enemies. I do not have that in me without the help of the Lord. So, I pray. When I pray for those whom offend me God seems to change my heart for them and lowers my anxiety.

Today many people rely on their sexuality and deception to get ahead. Hollywood seems to promote this type of behavior and our culture is bombarded with mass media promoting this very thing. . There is not much we can do to change other people. We can change the way we react to others. We can chose to love people and genuinely care for them even if we do not agree with them or have been hurt by them. I am not saying we have to put them on our best friends list and buddy up. I am saying we need to practice constant forgiveness towards them and intentionally love them as they are. I use empathy. I am convinced that people act in a manner they feel protected in. We all have short comings and many people act prideful, hoity and deceptive because they are hurting.

I would talk with her directly and explain to her how you feel. In 1Timothy we are given a directive to take our issues directly to that person that offends us. If we do not get resolve that way we are called to involve and other person. I suggest your boss. I would clarify the truth without accusing her of lying. When you speak with her use” I feel “statements without blaming. Put your best foot forward doing your best work. If you feel the anger swelling up, let it go, pray, and stay in constant forgiveness. God is the rewarded of those who diligently seeks Him.

All of Psalms 37 works here.

Psalm 37:28” For the Lord loves justice and does not forsake His saints.”

I cannot stand being in the same room as my ex-husbands’ family. I get so uncomfortable. He and I are trying to be better friends and are considering getting back together. I have been invited to Thanksgiving. What do I do?

Only you know that you, your ex-husband and God can figure out the reconciliation.

I believe marriage should last your life time. Yet, I am divorced. If anyone is to reconcile they first have to practice a sincere forgiveness and leave the past in the past. That goes for his family too.

Many of us have messy divorces and we act terribly to the people we once loved. You cannot change what has happened. You can forgive and go on. Jesus died so that we can be forgiven. I believe we are happiest when we practice forgiveness. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Regardless of your pending reconciliation ask the Lord to help you forgive and accept your ex-husband and his family for who they are and chose to love them.

Follow these three golden rules;

LOVE GOD

LOVE YOURSELF

LOVE OTHERS

If you think you can handle yourself in love and forgiveness then go. If you don’t know how to do that yet, pray, read His word do what you can do in love.

Mathew 5:23 “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

My husband, children, co-workers… it seems that everyone has been annoying me lately. Why do people have to be so annoying?

People will be the way they are. We cannot control how other people act. We can control how we react.

Once I let go of judging others and started to forgive them I started feeling true peace. Husbands, wives, children, co-workers are always going to do things that can upset you. That is life. If you let other peoples behavior determine your mood you will be like a wave tossed in the Ocean. When I am offended by someone’s actions or words, I confront them directly, if possible and appropriate. I pray for them and for my ability to forgive them. Sometimes it is very hard for me to do this. My flesh would like to gossip and complain. I ask God for the desire to pray, forgive and move on. This works for me. Try it. If someone annoys you, pray for them, forgive them and let it go.

John 20:23 “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” NKJ

I am a Christian woman and I do not find very many men that I feel a connection to and have the same belief system. I am dating a man that fits this bill to but it is going so slow. I want more. I sometimes want a family relationship so bad it hurts. How do I get through this?

You get through this the same way you get through all things in life. Accept Jesus love for you. Know that He has a plan for you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust that Gods plan will unfold itself in His timing. Concentrate on the good things He has given you. Be thankful.

Being single is not always so easy. God did say “it is not good for man to be alone” Genesis 2:18. Yet, before we can make a good spouse to someone else we have to be OK on our own. If we require someone else to make us happy or complete us we do not control our own joy. Joy comes from within. Grounding in joy starts with accepting Jesus as your savior. When you concentrate on His joy and His love no matter what the circumstances you can have inner peace. Life will dish out circumstances! Paul said,” I have learned to be content in whatever state I am in.”Philippians 4:11. There is a saying,” you are only lonely when you do not like who you are alone with.” When I start to feel loneliness creep in I pray and then I do something to take care of myself. I go far a walk, get a good work out, play with my dogs, ride my bicycle I do anything that can make me focus on how truly good my life is. Whatever you think about expands. If you think about how desperately you want a husband and how lonely you are then you are wasting your present moment. Love the things you have in your life right now. If you have a negative thought or a thought about something you cannot control intentionally change your thought. Call on Him He is with you 24/7. Single is not always easy, but if you can be happy single you will make a better mate in the long run.

1 John4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

Is it common for people trying to make positive changes to not feel supported by those around them? And the odd thing is that they want my support when they are making changes and I think I tend to be negative or skeptical.

Change good or bad is difficult for people in general. Many times our friends are similar to ourselves in many ways. If we are happy with our friends the way they are and then they start an exercise routine, eating healthy and living a better lifestyle we can feel intimidated.

Most of us know we should do these things but lack the strength and courage to change. When our best friends try to change and not be like us anymore we can feel jealous and rejected. Our friends may feel we are judging them for not wanting to change too. Many of us have tried and failed so many times to start a wellness lifestyle that when we tell our friends we are going to try again they do not get too excited for us. It is important to have friends and family that support our healthful lifestyle choices. It makes life easier. Find friends that support you and be a friend that is supportive. This type of Christian fellowship helps our strength.

Acts 20:35 “I have showed you all things, how that so laboring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, “It is more blessed to give then to receive.””

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

My cousin has an anxiety disorder. He does not know the Lord. Please pray for him.

Please any one reading this lift this cousin up in prayer.

Sometimes we can feel helpless in situations. We do not have control. God is always in control. Yet, He gives us free will. I freely did it “my way” for years. I was in bondage to much anxiety. My family lifted me up in prayer, so did my friends. I did not realize how sick I was until God made me whole. I did not think I needed help. My Christian friends and family could see I did. They were unable to reach me, but their prayers did. There is a tremendous power in prayer! They were diligent in their prayers, I am very thankful!

Mathew 7:7 “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”